Phil's Bike Tour

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

mild mannic maurder needs home, love


I come on the scene like a frantic solder. Blazing eyes, nostrils, blunts, stewardesses. My flight delayed, my LA connection of EL Jimmy and Orlando are nowhere to be found. They waited an hour... so I have most of the tools i need to build my bike, with the exception of the big allen i need for the crank arm. So i leave it in the box.

and i go, carrying it when i can dragging it when i cant, from JFK to the subway, to Bedford where I know there are lots of bike shops and they will all want to help me cause im from out of town in for the race and hella charming, like charmin

I get plenty of bad directions. Few people know where a bike shop is, fewer give the right directions. My box is heavy, but the panniers slung over my shoulder and my overstuffed sling bag are digging into my shoulder like an bird of prey.

After a couple hours I do finally get to a shop on Havermeyer. They dont lend tools. Call up the LA Connection, they have crashed and need a couple hours. So I follow suit and pass out on the sidewalk. I cant lock up my stuff so I wake every min when a loud noise startles me. Still sleep is a ok. Another call to El Jimmy after a few hours go by. "sorry, we are

So I do my best to build up the bike that I love but still fully understand. Something I should have done long ago, but I really dont trust myself, and for good reason. I suck at this shit.

Eventually it works out. My bike can roll, it can stop, i can haul my panniers over my shoulders cause i dont have a rack. (Jim C is bringing them from the Bike Kitchen in LA soon)

I get to the hut just in time. Pouring rain gets my ass nervous about my time here, I dont have much rain gear.

Then all is calm, but im still hyper. I feel on edge. I dont have internet access as much as i want. Some Balentines makes me fell better. Then my eyes go south as my contacts move around, I try riding my bike, but I still haven't tightened all the headtube things quite right so it dont take long for me to find a roll up door to crash into. Thanks to a German Girl who is staying here I get back to the Black Label's Chicken Hut with only scratches and an sunken ego.


Tuesday, June 28, 2005

PDX bike theft

email from PDX:

i got my bike half-stolen this weekend. i screwed up and
left it locked outside oak st. friday night, thinking i was
going to make another errand and then take it back
upstairs before leaving for a couple days.

when i got back today it was gone. mega-drat! after
hating humanity for a while and concocting baitbike schemes
to retaliate, i look out missy's window and notice my bike
leaning against the sheridan's dock across the street.

which is odder because missy had her bike lock (also an old
possible-bic-vulnerable krypto) stolen a couple weeks ago
from the same spot, with the bike left as it was.

missy's first thought was that the thief was flummoxed by
mine being a fixed gear and just left it. i have thoughts
of kryptonite resellers, random bic-punks, or grey-hats
that are trying to point out to users that the locks are
crap without doing any real damage aside from leaving the
bike obviously exposed. or maybe someone just needed a
lock for some reason.

( )


that's my vote. i can't imagine riding one of those
things on crack.

one more argument for fixed-gear bikes!


better yet, lets just take our bikes (fixed or not) and reverse
the gears. take THAT bike thieves! as an added bonus, we get
to grow calves on the front of our legs.

- jon


so I should go get a better lock im thinking.

Monday, June 27, 2005

too beat to type?

monday is a sore, sore day.

my body is spend even pen strokes are challenging but I must try while i remember

Zoobomb Presents: Bikesummer in LA... WTF?

7am I jolt out of bed having dreamed someone told me it was already noon. Typical. I am anxious, and understandably so. I have been given the task of hosting an event that is supposed to be the "chunk-type" event of prior bikesummers. no small task.

Gather things, rope Frederico into hauling the trailer with his track bike, then convince him we need a flag. Having someone who can mend fabric on hand is indispensable. I strap the PVC to the tall bike and fly ZB colors. 10 bikers are waiting for me, for an hour. eep! We roll out by 11, only 90 min after the event told people to show up. I share the helmet cam with the crew, Jessie and F'Nelson (pronounced Fah-Nell-Son).

Its a long haul to Santa Monica from K-Town, and my tallbike is slow. Strong head winds rough road and 1 good hill... We are not phased. But we need the kinda nutrition only 711 can provide: Mickies, sapparo, and other malt things come forward. After shots of El Presidente Brandy (the bottle is still with me after 4 days? i must be getting soft) I realize I dont have a bottle cage assessible to me while i ride. Something must be done. Bring forth the Aquafina water bottle and duct tape. Now I have a dope beer cozy built into my handle bars.

Could it be the only Bio-Pace tall bike? Maybe the only one that has a mix of steel and aluminum. (I explain later... maybe)

AHA, but my megaphone still needs batteries. Lo and behold I present to you the best named store: Save on Drugs

Plenty of batteries available and the mini-DV tapes normally sold for 15.95 each are available for free. Also they got lime infused Segrums gin on discount for $6 "YO ill take 2!". Outside a nice pattio furniture serves our purpose nicely. We found the bike racks hidden behind bags of sod, so I guess it was where they want us to hang out.

Then the events... nothing can be written at this time. maybe in NYC.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

lock out

on the verge of completing everything i am now relegated to ONLY being able to use the internet. I mean normally i would be pumped about this kinda thing, but due to a coridnated effort of stupidity on me and Summer's parts I have managed to lock up my keys in the shop.

this means:

i cant finish my tall bike (which only needs its chain broken to be rolling, though it could use brakes.)
i cant get to my touring bike, locked in my room which i also cant get to, duh.

actually its not so bad. I have you, you warm glowing internet. maybe later we could get some food or a drink... lets go back to your place...

Tonight is the last day of the Bicycle Film Fest and messneger karaokee after.

Lordy I love drinking in parks!

every time im drunk in a park i ask myself why i ever go to bars.

Tall bike got wheels, gears, cransk, handlebars, a seat... its like a bike! only no chain or brakes, but whadda ya do? i mean i couldn't be late for gin and tonic in the park! hosted by some uber sweet SF cats who teamed up with the Times UP! New York folk and appear to me to be some sort of bikesummer illuminatti. No one really said anything about where next year but Austin has been on the radar for awhile.

FUCK AUSTIN! I say take Bikesummer to Houston! Atlanta! Find me a more expansive stretch of souless city and I say bikesummer will breath life back into the car ridden corpse.

RitAid has free MiniDV tapes! I mean, i apprecaite their no purchace necessary video stock.

So I was able to video today's Critical Mass from Sumers' tall bike. I saw 2 cops, one rolled along us and told us to be careful and to leave a lane of traffic for cars. Then it turned left and sped away like a tiny frightned fish in a swarm of bike sharks. It was so cute!

I spent some time presenting the cautinary tale of PDX mass. With about 100 bikers the ride feels so good. And yet manageable. And i nearly didn't get to take part, cause as the mass was leaving a friend of Luigi's got a flat so 4 of us stayed for a min, then I realized i was slow so i took off after the mass, but coudnt find it. luigi and friends came along and we realized it was gone. Cell phones out! and the dialing parade began. I took the opportunity to enjoy drive-though. its a total crap pile that most drive thoughs wont service bikers. According to our informal studies, the resturants cite "safety hazards" as the reason for not allowing bikes in the drive though. As if we are more endangered in a single lane of traffic moving at less than 5 mph. As with all things that I think shouldn't work, I just go forward like it is a normal thing.

Voicebox: "Welcome to Taco bell, can I take your order please?"
rev: "uh hold on ill just order at the window." (stopping on a tall bike can be challenging.)
Window: Oh! Hi!
Rev: "hey there how ya doing?"
Window: "are you riding that around?"
rev: "wherever it takes me. You got somthing I can roll witht?"
window: "bean burritos are 69 cents"
rev: "here's a dollar. no change please."
window: "thanks!" (those poor bastards never get tipped... wasupwiththat?)
rev: "could you put the hot sauce in it for me? Im kinda got my hands full"

Lots of employees came out to say Hi. I told them it was nice to use the drive though, they are proud to serve bikers. Everyone head down to 990 Western and enjoy the bike-though. I hope the video turns out.

Then we got a number to work and intersected with the Mass. awesome. So many happy peds and motorists! everyone waiving and smiling. Its like how it should be. Plus I was really enjoying people ging me beer.

Great video at the festival. though i dont think we saw all the videos we were supposed to. strange. maybe we showed up too late for them to play them all... Kiest Park was great, and "there's a flower in my Pedal" was staggering. So beautiful. great weaving of video and animation. Plus the video from the Times UP New York rocked too. "Still We Ride" is impressive. I cant go into detail about the importance of Critical Mass, but know that your 1st amendment right to assemble is at stake.

The post party was odd, some Russian lady owns a bar named the White Horse (I think there is one in every town... in Molalla Oregon there is a big horse stading on the awning outside. every Haloween someone paints the White Horse testicles a diffent color, but I digress).

What LA lacks in colored horse testicles it makes up in free hot dogs. Every hour or so the lady shows up with a tray of dogs. That helps maintiain the dive bar style.

Still it costs like 4 dollars for a cheap beer! Luckily i met a guy outside who wanted to buy me a drink so I got another Godfather (and it was good this time) for free.

This guy was on his late night commuter bike decked out with lights and saw the bikes piled up and asked me what was going on. He had no idea what bikesumer was! now he is totally pumped. He says he has been talking with the mayor about supporting bikes with better infastructure. Totally an advocate, and never heard of the kitchen! I hope I see him Sunday... cause even though he is kinda old and a little chubby he has the mentality for a bike hero. Listen to his story.

NewGuy: "so Im biking along and I see this drunk just slam into the back of another car. So I get over there and see if everyone is doing ok. The rammed car look a little out of it but stable, so i check the drunk who is like, 'whoa im cool... man.'
rev: "he was on another level huh?"
NG: "yeah he was pretty loaded. But then I see there is gas leaking out and flowing over the street. So I go back to the first car to check on them and see if they can move. They are still woozy so I help out this lady, but the driver has been knocked unconsious from the air bag, so I carry him out of the car put him on the grass and get the drunk. 'Dont lite a cigerette!' I tell him, and he's like, 'got it man...'
Rev: so everyone is out now.
NG: yeah but then the guy who was unconsious wakes up and starts smoking. So i sprint over there and keep him from ashing on the pool of gas in the street.
rev: whoa... your seiously a hero, cops must love you.
NG: yeah they gave me some flare to replace the ones i used.
rev: you had flares?!?
NG: Thre are so many accidents, I always carry 4 with me. the cops tried to give me like 8 of the big ones, and I told them that my ride was heavy enough already so they should give me the small ones.

And this guy had just bought me a drink. So I guess that's why I go to bars.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

The Endless Highway

"will it ever stop? Yo I don't know." Vanilla Ice, describing biking in LA.

Finally I go to the beach. Damn, its a long friggin ways. The ride out on Venice takes me about an hour with a strong head wind. But still there's actually a bike lane! whoa!

I meet Luigi who is hosting the other event on Sunday, a BBQ at the Beach. Alas the beach is south of Venice which is a fair ride... unless we pull off the most amazing thing and haul to a remote beach where we make up for all the carbon we don't use by burning down a small forest. I question if i can rock this distance on a tall bike with a load of polo mallets. (hint: WE STILL NEED MORE SKI POLES!)

I meet up with some of his friends who have a big bus heading out to Rainbow Festival in VA. They are recovering from a shroom trip that didn't blend well.

Luigi and I bike all the way up to the Pacific Palisades then South to Santa Monica where we chill with Tom the Bubble Man. Seriously this cat goes though more glycerin than Ron Jeremy. Bubbles catch the wind and fly over the pier and there always seems to be a kid dancing and giggling nearby. Tom had his truck towed and impounded so he has no way to leave.

"I guess I'll be here a lot." he says grinning. He long white beard tied in a braid going down past his waist hides most of his face, but his eyes show a lot of time out in the sun. "The pay's not great, but the smiles are free!"

Santa Monica is awesome, for us tourists especially. I just roll around on the pier and take in the full moon on a very late night (solstice anyone).

Rolling on Whilshire all the way back to Korea Town is a haul. So I take a break to make some fliers for Sunday's event. Sounds like tons of bikers are getting ready. I hope the Chopacobaras show. The Kinko's is like any other, clean, fluorescent white and overpriced. So I help myself to a couple sharpies to balance the equation.

Further on I realize Im hunger and LA fashion Dist. likely dont lock their dumpsters... if you can find the dumpsters. Then I spot it: Rocco's Pizza

stunning. it looks clean, pro, and they have 2 cheese slices and a soda for 4.50

Someday Rocco's Pizza in PDX will learn how to make a decent pie. I guess I shouldn't be too startled by finding it, there is likely a Rocco's Pizza in every major city in North America. But still i need food and beer... and then I find it.

Back in K-Town I get to share a great meal with some of the rockin bikers from the Bicycle Kitchen. The restaurant next door to the Kitchen rocks. Great cheap food. So many awesome stories about biker girls and loosin grills.

I take the crew back to my room at the Eco Village to kill the half-rack of beer ive got. Im gonna miss being able to buy a 12 pack for $4. Not just the Blue Ribbon, but also the Genuine Draft. Seriously... PGD, like MGD only instead of cleaver commercials on TV, we are living the Pabst commercial.

around 5am the Birthday boy David Benoff of Richmond, VA fame returns. Yup he knows the Cutthroats and Sprint Club and HellTrack. Plus he has some damn entertaining jokes.

"what does SnoopDogg use to wash his clothes... Bi-ach"

So i hope the make it out. i hear they rock! with an invite like this would could resist:

In the manner of our forbearers so shall all ye tallbike gangs, chopper clubs, pimpin riders and minibike grinders come forth. A series of entertaining, albeit potentially dangerous events await you.
more details will be added as the event draws near

we are zoobomb. we dont settle for kinda fun... WE WANT IT EPIC

I guess this will prevent many of the regulars from being there:

Then this video turns up... damn it's exciting to have some polo to go to, rather than trying to get it started:

It's a little love from the NACCC, if alex ever see's this: thanks for the scars. I esp like how in the background audio you can hear Dozer plotting to keep me away from doing something. His team did get the better of mine during the Bike Hockey Style World Championships, so I guess it worked.

Random posting: "Phil Sano as Zaphod Beeblebrox, interstellar biker" someone help me decipher this.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

watchful dumpster eyes

hot times, during the LA Gears Bike Gang ride we came upon a stool for the shop and a ski pole for polo... just need 7 more or so, but the supplies are coming!

MIG wire - check
PVC - check
megaphone - check
minibike - check
tallbike - check

The ride took us over the LA river which acutally had water flowing though it! whoa!!!

no one drives downtown after 10pm 6 bikers took 4 lanes and 2 sidewalks.

i love somer's tall bike. there i said it. now leave me to fornicate with steel in peace

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

the event

hey you great and overworked bikers, I am super stoked to be able to share some Cascadia bike love with yalls this coming sunday.

Some equipment we will need to make it as intense as it should be:

4 or more large traffic cones
3 or more mid sized stuffed animals
1 roll duct tape
7 or more ski poles (as soon as possible, i need to work on them in the shop)
3 (three) 6-10 foot lengths of PVC pipe
1 megaphone (please someone get back to me soon, this is a VERY helpful tool)

for those who are still wondering what in Satan's anus all this is about let me provide you with another list to wet your bike pallet:

Foot down
bike limbo
track stand
Bike Hockey (street polo)
bike strip tease
bunny hop
Freestyle Poser

All bikes are welcome to participate. Some events are better suited for specific bikes (e.g. using a tall bike during the limbo competition would be awesome!)

Location and more information to be released shortly.


we are zoobomb. we dont settle for "kinda fun"... WE WANT IT EPIC

oh i forgot the story of the 2 michells on Sunday

The only really commited person wanting to lean to weld was this petite, somehwhat reserved Asian (maybe laos) girl who already had her own mask. She welded all day and I felt like she may be better than i already. which kinda sucks.

Then at the bar another Michelle, this one older volumputus lady with big dyed red and black hair, who was in a band and should have taken me home, but needed to steap outside for a smoke. then someone else filled the space and i was unable to keep her seat, but i did get her drink... actually drinks, she left most of a Godfather and half a Sierra Nevada at the bar, apparnetly for me! Also she is kind of a luddite, even if she dont realize it. which is also sexy.

Monday, June 20, 2005

sunday sunday sunday


monday i start the preps for more welding this afternoon and getting my shit together for my event this sunday its gonna rock

video editing tomorrow. maybe i learn how to share a file over this, TheInternet

Sumers called me out on my lame inability to maintain a proper bathroom. He walked up to my bathroom window with broom and with his endless torso was able to snag my abandoned roll off the earth below. I was grateful and annoyed (I lack some broom handling skills apparently)


What a breakfast, we friggin rock the tatters and eggs and bacons and damn! I like it here. good teamwork for sure.

Missed out on the graffiti ride to host my own welding workshop. too bad im sure it was sweet. Welding was great too though, so i cant really complain. just about done prepping the tall bike which i hope i can rock this sunday. Nothing flashy but then again Im just a jackass of all trades.

a group meal with many of the eco villagers was awesome. lots of great people, showing interest in all our lives and the food... ahh the food

then I remember, Joe wants me to drink! So i get directions and then roll out with Fransisco (who did the bike kitchen blog, fyi) to the bar. We part company so he can get work done and i can get blotto on my own.

The bar is very discreet. A small sign on the ally wall is the only telling sign of bar life as i roll up. Its fairly dead, just the way i want it. me and the bottle and some note paper to make a flyer... awesome.

my first drink on the house? sounds good, Patron with a dos equis beer back...

so i just sit and write and the typical beautiful bartender ladies look at me like Im worthless. maybe it had something to do with my expression when they told me how much pbr was.

LA Bartender: Cheap drinks? you want a Pabst?
Rev: yeah! how much.
LAB: just $3!
rev: ... really.
LAB: yeah.
rev: is that cheap? i mean for LA?
LAB: [loosing patience] Yeah.
rev: ... [thinking of leaving, i mean i can get a bottle and hang out in a park]
LAB You want a shlitz? its 2.50
rev: ok, lets do this thing. i mean now i can tip you 50 cents!

I wont be able to change their mind as to my worth, so I wont try. But folks who see me keep coming up to the bar looking at what im doing and buyng me drinks... good ones.

so i stay.

then they are closing, the girls give me the forcefull look and raise their voice, "Goodbye!"
"im just gonna say bye to Joe"

next thing me and joe enjoy some after hours beer, and i can stop looking at the pretty meat. Im sure in other contexts these girls could be nice, but it sure seems to me like they are everything i had feared in coming to LA. So maybe I wont go home with them.

Joe and I kick it then I half piss myself trying to get to a bush. Could be the diabetees setting in...

Sunday, June 19, 2005

saturday 18th: all you want and more

- I am so popular -

that is to say tall bikes are popular. I ride with the kids from the Bicycle Kitchen "Earn a Bike Progam" downtown. nearly everyone is smiling waving or saying something supportive. the street poles are not very close to the curb making life challenging when i have to wait on lights, when you are rolling with the younguns you should avoid bad habbits. And other confortations, like the cop car that came in with 2 peppers pointing thier poppers at some brother on his knees. Apparently he had been though the ringer before. It was exciting to watch the over the top Clockwork Orange-esce pepper do thier thing, but with the children nearby we decided to avoid riding our bike though the potential bullet spray. FINALLY, some real LA crazyness.

Today i did about 15-20 miles on this bike and everyone seems to love it. the best may have been the high five from the bus driver.

Of course i am good at yelling clever things while biking around and being a jackass, so i do that alot, and i pimp bikesummer like no man business. Flyers for the Bicycle Film Festival flow from me like the beer from my pores. hope Brent Barber appreciates it.

Some guy did come running out of a shop to yell at me

homeboy: "Hey! I almost hit you with my truck!" (angrily)
rev: Damn! Its a good thing you didn't huh?!? (smiling)
homeboy: uh yeah. Yeah! uh....

the Festival had so many things going on i could hardly maintain my drinking. luckily fucking Nelson (or FahNelson, as i like to call him) kept me in Budweiser.

The flatlanders had the show. dope moves. good video. i must get more tapes.

-The fastest home depot ever-

A little trip to the Home Depot for welding supplies. somers rides up on his tall bike kicks the elevator light track stands then rides in then track stands as i push the down button. home depot has got to have big convenient elevators. The guy in the elevator behaind us looks terrified.

i see that welding shades are only a couple bucks so I grab 5. then i realize i still dont wanna pay for even cheap things and pocket 4 of them. THEN i realize we need more gloves so i just put them under my arm. We go to the U-Steal Self-Checkout aisle.

Then off to the Bi-ke-Stravaganza post party. HOT! lots of bbq and bands. then some messengers performed a dope puppet show. Orlando and crew put on some decent entertainment. Then folks kept showing up but it seemed like no one was biking. ugh. the bikers get dishearten and start having competitions outside.

I met Joe from Little Joy's. again and had him the Modern Drunkard that I was given while waiting outside the Yamhill Pub on the Sunday of the NACCC. Man i do miss some things about PDX, but soon i will be back under that August sun and think to myself... WHERE IS THE FRIGGIN RAIN? Joe is stunned, he tells me to come to his bar tomorrow. I think i just might. he is like pushing tshrits for a children's bicycle cause at a messenger show. Some old 70s glasses... yeah this guy has a sweet bar, i can tell.

bikers work on their trackstands and skids, then someone declares a race though the active parking lot. This is a bad idea i think to myself. I should film it.

No more than 10 seconds later someone tells me to get out of the back of the truck. "yeah the video from up on that rooftop would be better, ill show you how to get around the security.

The race only lasted a second and sure enough someone ate a side view mirror. awesome.

somers and i take a tour of the downtown, we find some corporate art with some green space to mark our territory. He shows me some graffiti.

What is up with fish stick tacos? i like fish sticks, i adore tacos, i maw me some fish tacos, but fish stick tacos? So the rule is dont trust the Burrito King taco discount. After throwing down 3 each of these "tacos" Somers and I began to plan regicide.

-When dumpster divers turn pro-

We were so disheartened with our late night eating experience we felt it was necessary to liberate some abandoned food. Apparently the trader joe's has some tough razor wire security (btw, i see signs that say electrified fence at places... along the sidewalk! That is just over the top. I should try and steal one of those signs)

So first we hit Ralph's which i think should be named Wiggum's cause its dumpster was retarded. Plastic sacks full of wet plastic? bits of slime and coffee grounds? WTF?!? (one bonus: was that it was totally unprotected and convenient for looking down into from a tall bike).

About 4 min and halfway down the dumpster we come to the conclusion that we really can afford to buy some food. I mean, it wont kill us. But across the street at Vaughn's is way better organics and such.

We take our time browsing the rows, alas there was no bins for sampling. where is a Freddy's when you need it?!? Then to the check out. Where we waited, and waited and waited at the only checkout lane with a light on.

sumers: this has got to be the right place right?
rev: what's the statue of limitations on waiting for a cashier to appear?
sumers: I wonder... 5 min, 10? [he turns to the lady who just walked up behind us]
lady: humm, well if you are thinking about it, you probably have already waited long enough
sumers: should we just leave?
rev: What about carrying the food?
lady: you have a plastic hand basket, just use that.
rev: humm, no lets bag our own.

and with that somers jumped around the counter and started packing our organic peanut butter, breads, garlic, avocado, tomatoes, healthy spread... and on and on until we each maxed out our plastic bags. We thanked the lady, who stayed behind for the moment. I wonder how long. The security wished us well as we walked out giggling like school girls on whippets.

- I fear going to the Bathroom... again. -

My TP has fallen out of the window into a closed alleyway. It looks like i could almost snag it, but i have had no luck so far.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Friday, Hella Hell-a,

3am I arrive. The city is electric... and by electric I mean its really bright, there are lights and twinkiling palm trees (amtrak has bling?!? who knew?). I think back to the blind groaping I did a week ago while in the darkness of night under a red wood canopy.

Moments later Somer arrives and give the bicycle "whoop!" call. I grab my gear and we head out quick, the security has started to close its net. Seriously, the safety vest guy on the corner was sqawking into his shoulder and a security truck starts to follow us as we leave.

"These guys hate us."
"What's their deal?"
"dont ask, its so annoying."
"odd, the other stations were really nice to bikers."
"Yeah these guys are bored."

Flying around the city at night is great. There is almost no traffic at 3am so I take full advantage, by taking a full lane. We stop at a red just in time as a car flys by

"In LA, we dont run every red, the ticket is $340."
"For bikes AND cars?"

This is $93 more than in portland. And I would like to avoid having to pull out my ID so soon. Good thing too, on the next light at the bottom of a little steep hill a cop is sitting at the convince store. I make my code call but remind myself that "pepper" is not likely part of the biker jargon down here.

" 'pepper' is our slang for cop, 'hot pepper' is a cop with lights on, 'sutfffed pepper' is one with someone in custody... etc"

He takes me back the 15 min ride out of Downtown back to Korea Town, and the Los Angeles Eco Village, feel like you dont have enough internet to browse?

I drink and eat and chill with Somers for part of the night before crashing. He tells me about the Midnight Riders as he pulls a PBR out of his bag for me. They are basically the same as the Midnight Mystery Ride, I forget the exact number but this last ride was just shy of 700 LA riders. Damn. He takes me out back to show me the UFO bike that is made of silver bike tubes on a cargo frame bike. I roll out into the streets with that and freak out a cabbie. I still cant help smiling about that.

We take a look at the workshop with the saws and mig welder. There are 2 garages full of bikes and tools for me to freak bike on. I hope i can.

Such an awesome place. These cats are really taking care of me. I meet Lois a nice lady who lives here and she gives me a tour of the grounds. Everything sustainable. Just like it should be.

She directs me to the Bresee community center just down the street. They had an intersection repair so where there was once noisy pollution there is now a garden and public space. They hook me up with some internet time, and have a really impressive video editing lab. I am gonna try to get some things done here soon, but I would rather not spend too much time geeking out with a computer. Better to geek out with people.

http// Jerold and Mark here are great, and remind me of the education end of FREE GEEK, only with dozens of macs.


I get a mess of love from home:

- Jessica tells me there was 269 riders naked in the saddle for the World Naked Ride last Friday. The FREE GEEK destination was awesome i hear, except for the guy who stole Jess's clotes and toothbrush.

- Matto is gonna meet me in NYC in a couple weeks. He (p)assed out on the west hills during the zoobomb century (it happens all the time). He and Clout should be mini enabled shortly. He reminded me that there was a earthquake in Northern CA near Crescent City as we rode South. I had no idea. I guess those Spinergy wheels really take out a lot of the vibrations.

(HEY BIKE GEEKS I still have found no bike shops with extra spinergy spokes, rims, hubs, or tools. no one has been able to explain why the non-drive side of the rear wheel is crossed, but the drive side is straight.)

- Va is gonna bring forth a child in t-minus one week

- People are still amazed/stupified by the "Finding Revphil" movie last week. If they only knew the whole truth about Frank Castle

- My brother returned to Colorado after a nice visit with poppa sano. The fam is in high spirits.


info the fire.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

thursday 16th

Finally i have found my way out of SF. Just 1 hour until i roll the rails down to LA. its a 10 hour train/bus ride (the train dont go all the way into LA... sigh)

almost no sleep again last night, at least nothing useful. Damn these women and their friends who need to use their beds when i wanna use their beds!

I am wearing my contacts again so that is mighty exciting. I decided that if I was gonna try and follow josh sweets around on the job i shoiuld probably have all my senses working. good thing too. i wish i had a better 6th sense, cause I must of cleaned all the glass in this friggin city. 4 seperate flats yesterday.


One blowout, a quick leak, a slow leak, and a pinch flat from trying to use a different tire (my tire is done). The slightly used one josh gave me fit so tight i broke a lever and Adam bent 2 other plastic levers trying to seed it in the wheel. Out comes the screwdriver. "pssssst"

So a new tire was found from a generous store that really liked me. good cyclecross tread. 80 PSI that i push up to 100. The helmet cam was hot, and I had josh sweets run with it while i labored in patchkit limbo.

But the oddest thing was while waiting for Adam to come with the used tire that was too flat anyway, who rolls up.

Dave 'Lucky Piere' Swoops, just behind him are brian and joe (from austraila). The long lost "other" crew that left from portland a day before us. They look dirty. really dirty.

"You missed out on polo last night!"
"Crap, I wish we could place some."
"Do you want to? we still have the mallets."
"hell yeah, but we have to watch starwars"
"You're shitting me right?"
"Well be done at 830"
"Rather than listen to me bitch about movies and how much email i have read pretaining to said movie, why dont you come to polo and go to the later screening"

They said they would, but never showed up, never called, and they are now on notice. I really dont have any means of paybacks, but i will try to let fate and pain and suffering motovate me to come up with some cold revenge. Regardless, we played again and it was awesome. i school some newbees because I do try and play 2-3 times a week. Then this morning I heard Adam talking to his friends back in PDX saying that he is taking them all to newbie polo at alberta park on wed nights.

i was as close to tears as i hope polo will ever bring me. it's an emotional game.

Im pumped for LA, fhasion show tomorrow. i should show up around 230 am somewhere downtown. i mean, how great is that? I guess well see. hope they have the internet down in la. According to my contacts i have a half dozen places to crash, one of which was the old bicycle kitchen, included with MIG welding unit. hope i dont make a fool during the workshop im supposed to teach.

its raining pretty consistantly now... I am remindind of portland, only nothing is green. a feeling i should get use too. For future reference, use the Mac stores for checking email. I could probably do some video editing if i had brought my firewire cables. next time. still using their ipod and 19 cinimatic flatscreen display is nice. too bad the space bar is worked over. i guess i wont be throwing down 1.5k on this G5 after all.

looking outside. it breaks. i will ride between the drops with my gear to the station.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

wednesday june 15th

woke up in a strange, comfortable place, she offered me a shower. I dont know how much i drank but sometime after playing some cage match bike polo sweets and I were taking shots of BlackVelvet and peanut butter. delicious but deadly.

"we are alcholics addicted to protien drinks"

so that kept us rolling long enough to get to the zitgist, then at some point we left, stella hit the 1 way streets the wrong way and some cops gave her a hard time.

stella and i did a count of bombers that we have seen in SF right now

- revphil
- stella
- dirty mark
- josh sweets
- mortor house josh
- bill
- adam
- mortor house ross

and the hits keep on hitting, which is why i feel so beat down right now. all these friggin bombers away from home. wasupwiththat?

Stella scored all 5 of her team's points in the first game. In her first game ever. She is talking about starting a league. definetly they will be playing next week at Alamo Square. A case of PBR and whisky is a good start.

still no communication from luckey, or anyone from the other portland crew that left a day before us. hope they show up soon.

Monday, June 13, 2005

monday - june 13th

what just happened defies even my best attempts to understand the human body.

I just slept 12 hours. i still feel the need to colapse

over and over i keep asking myself.

"How did we do that?"

but we did

and we are

in san fransisco.


We came, We triped, We freaked. A word of advice for anyone who wants to make great time biking down the Pacific Coast. Drop the shrooms, and let your body go. Adam and I biked for too long. when we colapased along the side of the road we didn't even make camp we just fell over. Then when it was morning we were cold, so we got up and started biking again. I feel kinda sad that our Team Swarm was broken up but they are on a different schedule, and while i am sad to miss out on wine country i am happy to be done riding for awhile. I dont know if they will even make it to the city.

hope to find the team that was ahead of us soon. the look on their faces should be priceless.

gonna get some free food not bombs tonight, maybe play some bike polo tomorrow, and then head down to LA in a couple days. apparently they need models and i am a model something. (citizen? media whore? nonprofit mercenary? somebody help me with my modeling career)

- Title: Bike Fashion Showdown
- Date: Friday, June 17th, 2005
- Time: 9:00 PM
- Location: 5519 Hollywood Blvd. between Western and Wilton
- Summary: Bike Fashion Show at the Bluespace Gallery

Thursday, June 09, 2005

thursday - june 9th`

we are in crescent city and me might just stay. lovely accomidations nearly make us forget our harsh mistress: the road.

I change a tire and rest. and internet. lord i hate me some internet. i spend most of the day blabbing about a movie about me. did i mention someone made a movie about me?

nevermind the fact that i am now connected to more media sources than i care to counr. I tried to explain this to the director.

"Normally you make documentarys about folks who otherwise dont have access to media sources, or whom the public should know about. Im only margionally famous, and I totally have access to more media than I deserve."

She wooshed her hand dismissivly. So yeah tomorrow night at the historic Hollywood Theater in portland oregon Go support Marie, she is great.

multi media mongoul is what I would call me if I could spell it right.

crescent city Library charges a dollar for a half hour of internet access. not bad compared to rates at internet cafes, but still... luckily i can swing with this dial up just fine. though my team mates have sworn to break me from my addiction soon.

We habve a new team name, "Team Swarm: The Locusts" after devouring everything in this home. This replaces our previous name, "Team Sasquach" because we all got warm showers.

we head into the Redwood forest tomorrow and lord knows when we will find our way out. word on the street psycotropics may be involved. i am a tingle with anticipation.

Day Eight - June 9th


Get up early: 6am and bike. It's been 28 miles and it's not yet 11am. Not great, but not bad. We hope to make it to Crescent City today. We'll see!

"Crushing the road that lies beneath".

94 miles. It shouldn't have been that long, but when you go, you go.

We went.

Considering the gear we were hauling and that there was still headwind, I consider this day to be epic. Likely no one with want to try and do it again, and really I dont want to either. Our bodies beat (im taking mouthfuls of advil and vodka). Our tires are flat (Robin and I both get flats in Califorina) and our gear soaked. The second we cross the border into California clouds roll in. Rain, then rain then rain then rain...

We spent most of the day breaking up into small groups or running solo. Good for time: definitely. Bad for morale: perhaps. I almost lost the crew at Oregon's border city (South Bend? Meh!). I missed the doggie cart and decided I had earned some "free jojos" at the Freddies. Walking around the store trying to nonchalantly stuff a quarter-pound of fried potatoes into your mouth sounds easy.

After I take a tour of the city, leave and then return I find them in the north half of town. Lucklily they haven't been waiting long.

Great climbs and great bombs all day. The climbs were mostly nice a gradual, the bombs steep and the shoulders mostly clear of debris. I peaked my speed so far at 37 MPH. not the best ever I'm sure, but with cargo, limited vision (still not wearing contacts), and unfamiliar roads with lots of log trucks...

The best part of the day was the construction. After being passed by a sherrif we caught back up to him and a school bus a mile ahead where a HUGE part of 101 was under construction. easily 3 miles, maybe more. We crusied ahead of the waiting veichles and talked with the flagger. She was really nice and friendly.

- Flagger Lady: yup we are repaiving a big stretch of road

- me: great I love my roads flat and smooth

- FL: (chuckling) I thought you were gonna say you like you roads like you like you women. But I bet that's not true.

- ME: [eyes bulge, try not to appear startled] heh.

- FL: [into radio] Are we sending cyclists though?

- Radio: yeah send em

- us: awesome!

So we had both lanes to ourselves for miles. Then when traffic finally did catch up, it did so in groups.
the conclusion: road constrution is great. Be sure to hit on flaggers, they need some more attention, and i mean the non automotive kind. They get hit pretty often by aggro motorists.

The helmet cam was also popular with the constrution team, as word we were coming though spread accross the radios. The School bus also got pretty nuts as well. Hope the video turns out.

In cresent city we got fed piles of spegetti and recieved warm, dry, soft places to sleep.

great times.

Day Seven - June 8th

Tuesday: Bandon

What a great city! I mean it has the typical annoying things that every little city has got, but then they actually have some great stuff too. Like their libraby kicks ass (in fact it makes the one in Gold beach look like crap.) Folks are freindly too. alas we are all distreacted by things (me: internet; Adam, robin: vegan huckleberry pie) and we dont leave until nearly 3pm. Not an inspring start. We make decent time though considering the nasty headwind we are facing.

The whole trip we had seen maybe 4 bikers. Today we crossed paths with 6.

  • middle aged guy on a beater bike with a sign "biking to New Orleans, Donations appreaciated"
  • A old guy with a canoe on a trailer
  • 2 Palm Springs yuppies with 5-10 k bikes
  • a older shaggy man with an off center disk and a mushroom on his head
  • a middle aged guy with a metal dector.


We camp behind ray's food in Port Orchard. Eat some Hummas and Falafel on the beach and sleap well. The chocolate cake we dumpstered out of Ray's kept me up, and didn't sit so well with Robin.

The views south of here are great!

Day Six - June 7th

"hey, you guys have gotta clear out" comes the voice from inside the previously locked building.

"uh ok. we're moving" I say. Crap! i have already gone against the game plan. Luckly we are all awake and just waiting for the rain to clear. It does we do and no one is the wiser. Robin is reluctant to get up cause he is worried about his dog Kansas.
"She is getting a lot of rain and no cover."

The Burly Nomad trailer cover goes over Kansas. It does keep a fair ammount of rain off, but mostly it just make her look cute. Refilling our watter bottle at a gas station/gernaral store/deli the owner gives me a wierd feeling. He is social, but kinda curt/snappish about fillilng out bottles. A little east coast style maybe? I detect no accent. He said the health inspector comes around often and if I was caught inside the kitchen it would = big fine.

We clear out and make our way to Coosbay. The drivers were mostly all very generous with space (I think having a dog in a trailer usually helps). We stop at a Shopping mall with a helth store and bike shop. Both are great. At the bike store i give him one of Arron's "Go By Bicycle" zines. Then i convince him to pay me $10 for a from PDX with Bike Love DVD. I feel bad cause I charged him so much. I should tell Joe Biel to cut him a deal on his first couple copies if he orders any from Microchosm. Well, this is not been a good trip for good deeds. this is a trip of crushing capitalism by squeezing the little guy for every cent.

Did i just write that? Anyway, guilt will soon be passed on as there is a candy factory up the street with free sampels. OMG so many samples. I eat them all. twice. About then the lady behind the counter asks if we need help finding anything.

"I am finding everything, thanks!"

I find the sugar free section and decide to send some to poppa sano, so I end up spending more than i want but its good, and the guy from the back room keeps coming out with more and more candies he just made for us to try. "This one is a pino gris, this is a wisky truffle" Im getting loaded but not drunk. Wasupwiththat? I dont even like sweets. I remove myself before its too late. Then spend an hour decompressing my gut on the ramp outside. Truly a disturbing sight for those about to come inside I am sure. I hope there wasn't too much schmootz on my face.

We head up A big hill off 101 and I shoot some good video with the helmet cam I think. Sun comes out and senic vistas are awesome. Although the clear cuts are kinda disheartening.

We pull into a campside just outside Bandon We find a 3/4 walled gazebo. Thankfully the walls are on the side where the rain is coming from. We eat some dinner then hit the beach. We can actually see the rain coming across the bay and ocean. The hell with hiker/biker camping we are stying dry toinght.

We wake up late and are fined the 20 bucks by a forest service guy. ugh. i guess we should have gotten up faster, then we couldda skiddadaled sooner.

Day Five - June 6th

"We shoudda gone to Church" Woke up next to a dog and a Robin. Rain falls then stops long enough for us to believe it's over. It's not.

We happened to camp a block away from a Curve's fitness/laundromat. We spend the morning drying the cloths and recharging devices. We own this mutha friggin Curves! No one freeked out about their being a dog inside and Kansas behaves very well with radom folk coming in to wash their stuff.

We are so wet. It feels good to put on dry socks, even if they are gonna be wet in 20 min. I have developed some conjectivitus, aka pink eye. Ugh I had hoped that it was just irration from stress and forgetting to take out my contacts and not sleeping the night before i left. Then it my left eye was just red without any junk. Now its red in my right eye and its worse. Plus im fatigued. Sprinting and staying up late and getting wet and not too warm was all not helpful.

Eventually we roll out. The bike shop is closed, of course (it is Sunday after all, and most bike shops take sunday off... bicycle jesus anyone?)

We climb out of town and keep on climbing. We take our time jumping under trees when it starts raining hard. Its fairly exciting way to bike. If I could see (cant put my contacts in) I would have more luck seing the cover, but the other bikers are covering for my handicap well.

We investigate some of the Oregon Dunes. An experience I was not particularly interested in. My experience was that they are pretty much an ATV playground and anyone annoyed by 2 stroke enginees should steer clear.

Sure enough, the only way to evern get to the dunes is to walk along the paths where ATVs come screeming along. I cant tell for sure the ages of the riders under the helmet and high tech riding suits, but the pudgy nature of the gut bouncing along with the 4-wheels tells me pre-high school. Max suggests killing them at their larvel stage, for the good of society.
we find another Hobbit hole to chill in. I nap. My body aches, the light hurts my eye. I hate this place. Psudo beach with the occasional internal, infernal, eternal combustion engine not far enough away.

Then more rain. We run out of Hobbit Hole II and make a beeline for the only shelter around, a bathroom.
There we are, 5 bikers and a dog, standing around a toilet, dirnking a bottle of wine, singing blues tunes with harmonica accompinment, to the ever present sound of rain, then hail punding our shack.

After another hour it clears and we make our break.

After climbing for a long time, finnally we roll down, thankfully the road is mostly dry on this side of the hill. Across another bridge (this time we are taking the friggin lane) and into Reedsport. We head straight to the first warm place and it has the best fries I have ever eaten. Our server, Darcy was awesome.

"Well you could all come home with me, but I dont think my husband would like it."

we get advise from a few folks in the closing resturant about where to stay.

symethetic golfer: "There is a gazeebo up the hill past the school"

me: "Uh huh, well keep that in mind, thanks.

Darcy: [quietly] "uh the gazeo is totally open. FYI."

Me: "thanks, I think we have our place. Unless you want to work on your boyfriend.

Darcy: you mean my husband? Yeah, he is a little old fashioned...

Me: if you are needing some fun and excitment I know five wet bikers who are good for the party.

Darcy: maybe I will swing by later.

Me: well be across the street.

Max had scoped out the scene. Reedsport had kindly created a 24 hour tourist information center, the anex to the area that is inside and open from 10 to 4.

Max: "It's warm, it's lit, it's dry, it's abaondoned."

"any problembs?"

Max: "It's next door to the federal building"

We head over one at a time to avoid suspicion. Inside is a wall of pamphlets. Everyting from The Goonies Reunion Tour (up in Astoria this weekend) to Navy special program promtions. Both are entertaining, and give us the appearance we might be using this space for its intended use. After counting the number of screenings of Goonies in Astoria this weekend (six) and enjoying the summer camp recrutment style of the millitary ("You will learn to deal with shark and jellyfish attacks,") we started our nesting, hanging our clothes from every surface possible, and stuffing our shoes with the local free rag.

The floor is hard but we are warm, and dry and if they come to wake us up... well we are ready for that situation. We ignore them as long as possible. I dont know if this works, but I am willing to try and sleep just the same.

Day Four - June 5th

We hit the Newport bike shop. crazy. so much better than the Tillamook. It had nearly everything in 1/10th the space. Plus a drill press and a welder and machiene shop out back. Its part of a Motel, strange. but it works. the worker is nice and lets me film.

We take Hwy 101 right though the city. The bike route tries to get you off the road every chance it can, but if you are rolling several bikers deep with 2 lanes than you are safe in your own lane.
Alas the stupid pedestrian bridge nearly kills us all: nails, pieces of 2x4 and other construction hazards (why are they fixing a concreete and steel bridge with wood?!?) A strong bridge and narrow lane gives you only an inch or so before you are either droping into fast moving car traffic or droping over the 3 foot barrier and down a hundred feet to the river below. A poor looking biker walking his bike coming toward us (hey that's an idea!) has to jump down onto the road to avoid us. Man we suck.

Then we are fine again for miles. Good sun and road contitions. Then at some point I feel my rear wheel sliding around some. ugh, this is not good. sure enough i have a leak. We are trying to make it south of Florence today and still have 25 miles to go. Going over seep cliffs along the road keeping controll with wight pushing you downhill and a flat tire loosing tread, this was also kinda dangerous.

"Flat ties never say die" - steep hills, what traction

We push for the next camp sight as dusk approaches. Everytime we say we will take the next site, everytime we decide it sucks and contine on. My tire gets increasingly worse over time. It needs filling every hour, every 40 min, every 20 min... Now I am just sprinting for as long as the tube will hold air. I stop at the enternace to a campround. This one is several more miles off the hwy.

"fuck that, lets just go on" the majority speaks

We pull into Florence and find some good eats: thai food. Traveling 2 vegetarians and 2 vegans (and one vegan dog) makes dining out a little challenging. While everyone is eating inside I fix the flat. We eat like rabid animals. I shovel delicious hot food into my mouth as fast as possible. we are loosing light rapidly, and need to find some sleeping arrangments.
On my way to the bathroom I can't stop myself from lifting a bottle of wine. This seems absurd because the returant did a good job feeding us. I feel a pang of guilt and relaise a bottle in a resturnat is 3 times as expensive as it is in the store. Meh.
Just across why 101 there is a church with a big empty lot. Perfect. I crisen our new location "Dignity Village, Florence." Maybe someone will write up a fax indymedia article about it.

After chilling there for awhile robin and I dicide twe mush investigate the local night scene. Our tour de Florece dumpsters starts with the bouty of Grocery Outlet. Is there a better store anywhere? its like shopping and gambling at the same time! The dumpster is no different.

"The center this ice cream is still cold" I tell robin

We get piles of yellow and red peppers and zucinni. I document the liberation of life sustaining discarded food with the camycam. Every time Robin pops up from inside the dumpster he reminds me of the dog from "Duck Hunter" poping with more ducks in hands and a big grin on his face.

The local Bakery dumpster was not as sucessful. lots of wrappers and trash from the Dairy Queen. We find the bike shop and check their supplies. Nothing. But the JC Penny next door though out a blue duffle bag.
"want this?" "no, but well find some use for it."

Poppa John's is also empty. Man after the first find we were expecting like the lord's bounty at every stop.
Eventually we are downtown and decide we have earned a beer. We drink some Rogue Dead Guy, and it tastes like it was brewed just 60 miles north.

Then the rain. And the rain. and the rain. We are awe struck. We think this has got to pass. Then we realize its not gonna pass and all of RObin's things are still laying out on the empty lot.

We make tracks. Coming out of old town a car pulls up from our right at the 4-way stop. Of course its a cop. Robin is already though, but I decide to half stop, I dont feel like trying to produce ID in this torrental downfall.

The cop follows us for a few more blocks. Im not sure if he wanted to ticket us or just find out what we were thinking biking around in a monsoon. Eventually he passes us, as we drudge our ways up hwy 101 back to the church. the bike lane is a river. seveal inces deep with water coming off the road.

Day Three - June 4th

Day 3 Early rolling, Hight hill climbs, Mt bombing down is such fun. There was a sweet hairpin turn that we got to watch each other go down because it was so steep you were practicaly right above the bikers 200 ft ahead.

Continuing in our excess of anticapalism we hit up the Grocery Outlet (bought some wine - stole cheese), Goodwill (bought 90s girl B.U.M. Equipment socks for biking - stole sunglasses), and Bi-mart in Lincoln City (bought a $1 of fireworks, stole $5 and earbud headphones to replace the ones I broke earlier.)

I cant believe I broke my headphones. Totally forgot about them while concentrating on the flow of the ride and our pace line. Next thing I look down and I see freyed wires. Crap.

We meet some nice salt haired old couple. From east. They live in Boston, but he is from Germany. They are rocking a doucmentary thing and got some video of Robin's oggy Trailer. THey say they will put it up on the website. We met them again while stopping and drinking wine at the Devil's Punchbowl (which is really disapointing at low tide). A nice winery, they dont have their own grapes but they bottle and everthing else there. no sales outside that shop even. humm, interesting. i wonder if folks were more likely to buy because they new they couldnt get it anywhere else. We buy a tasting of the 9 kinds of wine for $2. sweet. really sweet, actually. The blackberry desert wine was so nice...

Some kid with a skateboard started talking to me at some point. Typical. I just get into my drinking and the kids come along to play. Fairly smart kid, he knows his classic rock.

Skater Boy "What's your favorite music?"

Rev "i used to say, 'everything but country', but eventually I realized that ever gerere has good and bad music."

SB "I listen to everthing but country"

rev "there you go"

He taught me a little about skating and gave him a PDX BikeLove DVD (ouch, should i be selling those?). He wasn't impressed with my zoobomb description, so I thought I would peel his eyeballs back with video instead. I guess bombing down a hill sounds pretty tame when you skate on the coast.

And what a bomb he has got! down from Cape Foulweather is steep! It used to be a super tight 2 way road, but they have since removed one lane of traffic and put in a bike lane. Nice!

We did't make it much further, deciding not to try and push though Newport until the morning since we could hit the last bike shop until Florence. We rode into camp Beverly. The hikerbiker section was seperate and had some hiking in the back. i found some mushrooms that were coming out like shelves from this dying tree. They wouldn't budge. I guess that make them inedible if they are stronger than you.

Lots of wood and good food. Pasta, and more! Max and crew are good cooks.

I finally get around to showering and it take me forever. Ahh long hot shower. I wash my leggins out in the sink and dry them with the hand dryer. just put the waisband around the entire unit and let it blow hot air down. Also got a charge on my electornics. ugh, am i camping at all?

Day Two - June 3rd

I get up early pack my shit, eat, wait. and then decide i can wait no longer. I am on the move. They will catch up soon anyway. Will we make it to SF together? Will I go to big Sur with the crew? Will be come upon the other team?
who knows? but timimook has a nice internet cafe at the librabry.

The Bay City Slug which is a sweet weekly paper/zine. "The Paper that hates progress" and "tough, Absorband, Disposable" as well as several cut and pasted images

A coffee shop called the 303 let me take thier copy, which is cool since the guy handing me the paper is on the cover maing a BBQ. Hot.

articles about organic food and corporations and transportation issues. dude!

Robin and I hit up the Tillamook Chees Factory, its awesome. Totally like disney land. Maybe someday I will come back under influences of everying. I sample some cheese than slip a couple pounds of jerky like meat bits behind my back under the jacket. Robin made out like a bandit. Garlic spray is awesome! Lots of other spices too. On to Freddys where the bargins are best! Food Stamps are good, Free Stamps are better! Robin gets some jojos and we eat all of them before checking out, somehow the wrapper disapears and I sample some expensive food form the bins. I really like shopping with robin. Eventually we make it back to the Library and roll out. but not before taking a peek at the beer distributor. Folks waking around so no chance and geting in thier dumpster, but next time...

Hobbit Hole @ Bob Schwabber Wayside park. Really lovely, away from Pacific City, practially abandoned. Only an old man and a black car visited us while we were there. The place has all these trees with brittle old brances below so its like a forest of crawl space. perfect for camping. A bed of needles never felt so good.

Thanks go out to the Tillamook Co. Officer who asked for our IDs. Apparently folks on the hills above spy down on the campsite, and thought that the punks in the black car (what? us? black car???) were tearing up the bathroom, so they called the popo. they cop was really congenial. Kinda embarrassed to be hasseling us. He wished us well on our trip and turned to leave.

Cop: "Oh, you aren't camping here are you?"

Robin: "Oh! no sir, were just eating dinner here."

Cop: [quietly] It's fine, just as long as I don't know about it.

Upon reflection I decided that Waysides are in fact, just free biker only camping. We will definetly look out for more.

Day One - June 2nd

Entered at: Tillamook County Library

Must tell story about the Forest Grove Shop homophobe who is violently insane.

Camped in the Tillamook forest last night. Nice little rock wall over looking a rushing creek with heavy moss draping all the trees like a shall on a tipsy woman. 5 of us left PDX on the 1st around 10 am. we had planned to catch the 730 max at the Rose Garden, but the traffic made loading bikes not work, and I was having mac music issues. So far it has been woth it though, music is really nice to have as your biking along the hwy.

At the top of the Coastal range down Hwy 6 I dawn my helmet camera. A good downhill video should be fun and exciting, and I need practice shooting good video with this thing. Everything was fine for me up until my sleeping bag jumped ship on a bump. I yelled up to Robin, "i lost a bag" seconds later a child yells out at me, "you lost your bag." Ahh comedic timing.
I was hoping the others I passed would be coming along soon, but it was just Adam, who told us that Korina had a bad crash. Max was with We wait and wait, and Adam goes back up to see them, i go down to tell robin. We wait and wait. the crew is together. no amblunce, though we hear it was quite an impressive crash. the trailer lost stability and started to wobble, she dosen't know exactly what next but the trailer whipped around and she endowd over. "It was cartoonish-crazy." Max said.
We chill for a couple hours on the rocks. some sun some rain, im ancy.

we wait (i think im gonna be in touble. as it is another crew of bikers is a day ahead, and at this pace well never make it to camp lookout tonight. I remain calm, but its still in my head. 'revphil is going to represent the NW at Bikesumer in LA'
We leave and take the rest of the downhill easy, stopping every 5 miles. then we start hammering it out towards tillamook. we camp just 12 miles outside. Adam and I explore a deer trail up the hill. find some droppings and some mushrooms. neither of us know enough to start eating random fungi.

Then its late. Laying down after a taxing ride I hear voices. 2 girls chatting. Then it stops. What was that? What will it be? Maybe a couple of Lesbikans out for a rainy Oregon Coast Stroll? Surly that's better than a double date. 4 horny locals come upon a squad of 5 diry bikers who have set up a mini camp dignity, (an REI shantytown) at their make out place.

- Frat Jock: What the Fuck is this? There's no camping in this park!
- Me: (sighing, feeling for my pants in my bag)
- FJ: you guys had beeter clear out of here or I'll call the ranger!


- FJ: well?!?
- Me: (coming out of my tent) Relax now, we got a situation here. After hauling our or gear from portland our friend was injured in a wicked crash. We wanted to get to the coast, we came here. Wea are making the best of it. There are other places you acn go for romance.
- FJ: Oh yeah, Where?
- Me: well i saw a few clearings back along the road overlooking a bridge.
- FJ: Along the Hwy?!? thats not romantic!
- ME: are you suggesting we who spent the day biking and doging traffic, should then give up this location to you who drove here so YOU can get away from cars?

My momentary dream is over. Nothing happened. Maybe I imagined it. Tension creeps and relaxes. 5 min later the noises start again, definely more than 2, loud and annoying. They build and start sounding like animals being tourtured. Then they stop, as if frightened.

"Um, does anyone know what that was?"

"maybe birds." That seems reasonable. we sleep.